In the world of BDSM and kink, exploring the depths of power dynamics and submission can lead to profound personal discoveries and intense experiences. For boy Nathan Rutherford, an owned boy from London, this exploration took a dramatic turn when he participated in a prison experience event in Miami. This event, organized with meticulous attention to detail, brought together participants from various corners of the kink scene worldwide, creating an immersive and transformative environment.
Boy Nathan’s journey began with a lifelong dream of experiencing a prison scenario, a dream that became a reality in the heart of Miami. The event, which included 30 guards and 40 prisoners, was designed to push boundaries and challenge participants’ understanding of power, control, and submission. From the moment boy Nathan arrived at the secluded spot to the intense interactions within the prison walls, every aspect of the experience was carefully crafted to create a safe yet intense environment.
In this Q&A, boy Nathan shares his insights, challenges, and revelations from his prison experience. He delves into the dynamics of power and submission, the significance of rules and boundaries, and the emotional impact of complete isolation and control. Through his stories and reflections, boy Nathan offers a unique perspective on the kink scene and the transformative power of pushing one’s limits.
Join us as we explore boy Nathan’s journey, his experiences, and the lessons he learned. Whether you are curious about the kink scene, interested in exploring your own boundaries, or simply fascinated by the dynamics of power and submission, boy Nathan’s story provides a compelling and enlightening narrative.
Q: Can you tell us a bit about yourself and how you got involved in this prison experience?
A: I’m boy Nathan from London. I’ve always been into the kink scene and have had a lifelong dream of experiencing a prison scenario. When I heard about this well-organized event in Miami with participants from all over the world, I knew I had to be a part of it. I had permission and encouragement from my Master to attend.
Q: What was the preparation like before the event?
A: The preparation was quite intense. We all flew into Miami and were booked into a hotel in Fort Lauderdale. On Wednesday, we had a dinner where we could meet and get excited about what was to come. Thursday morning was intake day, and I was in the first group to arrive at 08:30. We were told to drive to a secluded spot with our bags, and any luggage would be stored. We were allowed one clear bag to take into prison with essentials like a book, medication, diary, and a pen.
Q: How did the transport to the prison go?
A: The transport was quite intense. A prison van with three guards arrived, and we were quickly put into cuffs and transported in a van for about 40 minutes. During this time, I realized that every freedom I took for granted was now gone, and there was no going back. It was a stark realization of the loss of control.
Q: What was the intake procedure like at the prison?
A: The intake procedure was thorough. We were taken to the admin building, where we bumped into a chain gang who had been taken in the night before. The procedure involved a lot of questions, a strip search, a medical check, and then we were issued with a uniform, a water bottle, and a small bag of basic toiletries. It was a humbling experience that really drove home the reality of the situation.
Q: How did you feel during the entire experience?
A: The experience was a mix of excitement and fear. The realization of losing all control was both terrifying and exhilarating. It was a unique opportunity to explore a part of myself that I had always been curious about. The event was voluntary and safe, which made it easier to fully immerse myself in the experience.
Q: Can you describe the dynamics of being called by your inmate number instead of your name? How did this affect your sense of identity and self-worth during the experience?
A: In some way this relates to those that like to identify in the Hierarchy as “It” or an object, you become just a number. Even as an owned boy i have purpose, but with this i had none, i literally existed as a number with no purpose but to exist in an enclosed space with other numbers.
Q: What was the significance of the yellow and red lines in the cell block? How did these lines reinforce the power dynamics between the guards and the inmates?
A: Very significant, these lines represent boundaries and protocol that enables the guards to have control of the situation. You do not stand on these lines or step over them without permission, they are sacred and the guards use them to create order. Having to memorise your number to ask permission to cross a red line for food is one of the most humbling feelings I have experienced. Knowing you are a number and knowing you dont get fed if you don’t submit to this is a stark reminder of how much power the guards actually had. It got to a point where you could hear other inmates repeating their numbers to themselves in the line, which further instilled the fact you are just a number.
Q: Can you elaborate on the shower experience? How did the lack of warm water and the presence of a guard with a hosepipe impact your sense of privacy and control?
A: To be honest, this was something I thought might happen anyway, but the reality is you are not ready for it no matter what you think you know. I had already been stripped naked in front of the admin team, prodded and poked, but when you get locked in the shower cubicle and ordered to strip there is nowhere to run, it is going to happen whether you like it or not. you have zero privacy and zero control over the situation and you are so befuddled by everything going on you just do it. The cold water is an absolute reminder that you have no right to any kind of privilege in that environment, just like a dog being told to get off the furniture. Home comforts are for those that have power.
Q: How did the guards enforce the rules regarding the lines at the cell doors and the dining room? Were there any specific incidents that stood out to you?
A: It was almost militaristic, they would stand in your face and scream at you if you touched the red line in the cell block. The tip of your slide had to be at the very edge of touching when ordered to stand at the red line from your cell. The yellow line was actually worse as it was positioned just behind the cell door line, which meant if your cell was open but you were told to wait, if something was going off in the cell block at the same time, the natural instinct is to stick your head out of the door to have a nosey at what’s going on, but that means your feet are still behind the line but your leaning out of the cell to be nosey. When in fact it’s really an invisible barrier as I was told many times, no part of my body should be over the yellow line no matter what. This was a way of them saying, you will see what we want you to see, just another form of control.
Q: What was the process like for requesting permission to cross the red line to the dining room? How did the guards ensure compliance with the rules?
A: It was regimented, they made you believe that if you didn’t comply, you wouldn’t get fed. When we queued at the door the rule was the only head the guard should see should be at the front. In other words a perfect straight line, if you were out of line you got sent to the back. Then you had to remember to keep your water bottle full, so if you forgot whilst in the queue you had to leave, fill up your bottle and return to the end of the queue, or if you got to the guard not full, he sent you to fill up and then to the back of the queue, and by the time you have done all that and you are all flustered you forget your inmate number when you get to the red line and get sent to the back again. The guards are basically drilling compliance into you through repetition of failure until you get it right.
Q: How did the lack of access to the outside world, including no mobile, laptop, or clock, affect your perception of time and reality during the experience?
A: Sadly I am old enough to remember a time before mobiles and the internet, however I was corrupted by tech like everyone else. Not having a mobile for 4 days was hard, we were given the option of a short phone check every evening, as people have lives outside of kink, but my owner made me opt out and i am glad i did to be honest. I never realised how much i looked at my mobile and how much time i spent looking at it, so in a way it became a bit of a detox from the phone. The only things you could call clocks were the sunrise, sunset, and the lights on the block. They gave you an idea of what sort of time it was and prepared you for either getting up or going to bed. When control room lights came on that meant the guards were up, the light shone a little into our cells so we knew then soon the small cell block lights would come on which prepared us for the main light in our cells to come on. By this time we knew that we had to get up, get dressed and make our bed, before we were lined up outside our cells. Even though it was only 4 days, the routine set in pretty quick, but you still have no perception of time, 10 mins can feel like 30. When going to bed it’s a little different, the lights go out in order of, control room, main block light, recreation light then cell light. When the cell light goes off everything goes silent. other than snoring any noise made would be met with frustration from the other inmates as this was sacred quiet time. You weren’t even allowed to flush your toilet after lights out as it made so much noise. Not so bad if you only had a piss but the mornings were funny as we all tended to flush the toilet at the same time so the noise was deafening.
Q: Can you describe a moment when you felt the most out of control? How did you cope with this feeling?
A: If I am honest, there was never a most out of control moment. The way I looked at it was that as soon as it started I had no control at all. They did use a traffic light system for any play that happened and also there was an option to call a lawyer, which meant you needed to speak to one of the main admin team out of role. This shows how well things were thought through to make you comfortable enough to know you had safeguards in place. not just physically, mental too as it isn’t easy to give that level of control to someone.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate challenge or reinforce your understanding of power and submission in the kink scene?
A: So for me the guards represented Doms/Masters so they were all treated with the same respect I would give any other dominant in the real world, and that moment when they interact with you in prison they own you, because you do as you are told. That is how it is with my owner, I do as I am told because that’s what the hierarchy dictates needs to happen.
Q: What was the most surprising or unexpected aspect of the prison experience for you?
A: The most surprising thing was realizing I was actually not doing the whole prison experience for kink, I was actually testing myself to see how far I would go to get what I want. For example, doing something on purpose to get attention from a guard so I would get some form of punishment/bondage because it’s my kink, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it more often than not, because I saw it as selfish. It sounds silly, but when my owner puts me in bondage it feels meaningful and to try and provoke a master or owner into getting what you want is just pure selfishness, and because I saw the guards as owners/masters I was pretty much a good boy and I still had some fun.
Q: How did the interactions with other inmates and guards shape your overall experience? Were there any memorable encounters?
A: A lot of the people involved have done this kind of thing before at the same place either as a guard or inmate, and the ones that run it have experience from both sides too, so as a newbie to it, they knew how to handle me and support me if I needed it. On Sunday evening when it had started to wind down a bit I ended up having a moment of emotion with a fellow inmate. Relief it was ending but joy because I had made it, and anger because my back gave out at one point and it made me realise I’m not as young as I once was, and I cried, but I was still happy.
Q: Can you share a moment when you felt a sense of camaraderie or connection with the other inmates, despite the competitive nature of the experience?
A: Whenever we were around the dinner table was a great place where we all connected. We all talked, shared stories about what had happened during the day, even though meal times only lasted 30 mins, it was almost like a reset for the next period of cell block time.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate affect your relationship with your owner or any other significant figures in your life?
A: My owner is the only significant person in my life, and as far as our relationship goes it wont change the dynamic but I do think it will give my owner a chance to learn more about how I tick.
Q: What lessons did you learn from this experience that you can apply to your everyday life or future kink scenarios?
A: I learned that freedom is not given, it is earned. be that in a bondage scene, prison scene, chastity or all of it, it is the same as when my owner puts me in my sleep sack, it is what he wants and i have to do it to earn my freedom.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate challenge your boundaries and push you out of your comfort zone?
A: I don’t think the challenge is your boundaries, I think the challenge is allowing yourself into that headspace without it overwhelming you. It can be quite triggering especially if you have suffered any kind of traumas in the past if you are not careful that is. When going out of your comfort zone there are safety guards in place to enable you to do so, and if it gets too much you can control the situation using the traffic light system.
Q: Can you describe the moment when reality hit after your shower and you were taken to your cell? How did this moment shape the rest of your experience?
A: When the cell door slammed shut and I sat on my bed, that’s when reality hit. No freedom of any kind, and that stuck with me the whole time. It made me realise if i can give up that much for a prison event, how much more can i give my owner.
Q: How did the guards maintain a balance between ensuring a safe and consensual experience while also creating a realistic prison environment?
A: When applying for the event each applicant is given a questionnaire about their kinks, boundaries, and wants they might want to happen at the event. This was compiled onto a wall chart for the guardroom so they could see who was in each cell and what they were into etc. so when you did provoke, they had an idea of what you might want them to do to you. however through the control and discipline they were able to keep the event as realistic as possible,
Q: What advice would you give to someone considering a similar prison experience?
A: Try and do your first one or two with someone you know if you can, and start with the shorter events to build up to bigger and better.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate affect your mental and emotional state? Were there any long-term effects?
A: I had a moment towards the end of the event where I was suffering with a lot of emotions, and ended up crying to another cellmate about things. various emotions but not bad ones really, but there is a thing called event drop which happens when you get home and it’s a come down from what you have just been through. It can be quite mentally taxing and I can say the aftercare we have all been receiving from the admin team has been top notch. Its the same as sub drop after a session, a little aftercare makes it so much easier to deal with.
Q: Can you share any humorous or light-hearted moments that occurred during the experience, despite the intense nature of the scenario?
A: On my intake when I was stripped, the officer who was barking orders at me shouted at me because instead of touching the wall with my head, I turned to look at what was going on behind me, and the officer shouted to face forward and touch the wall. He then started shouting at me saying his name was officer Grin and I would remember his name, and when he asked me to repeat his name, because he had shouted I didn’t hear correctly and shouted back officer Grim, which made the whole room break character with laughter. By this time I had no clue what I had done until he asked me to turn and look at his badge. I was mortified and grinning at the same time.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate change your perspective on the kink scene and the dynamics of power and submission?
A: I don’t think it has changed my perspective on the kink scene as I have always looked at the kink scene as something that allows everyone to express themselves no matter what the kink, it is probably one of the most accepting groups of people in any community. Since becoming owned though, going to the prison gave me a different view of power and submission for sure. In the prison environment in essence, they are there to control you and take your freedom and will from you, there is no escaping the control, but in my relationship with my owner it is so different, i have given him everything i am voluntarily, so the control isn’t forced, it is accepted naturally because he is my owner and he deserves it.
Q: What was the significance of having to take off your chastity and collar for your flights? How did this experience impact your sense of identity and belonging?
A: I haven’t removed my collar since my owner locked it on me, so I never realised the impact it would have when I had to take it off for the airport. Taking my collar off made me feel naked, I absolutely hated it. When I arrived at the hotel in Miami, the first thing I did was get my collar out of my lock box and video me locking my collar and chastity back on for my owner and kissing my lock. I now realise the true importance of my collar and how protective of it I have become. To me my collar represents my owners protection and care of me as well as the ownership side of it, which makes it almost like a wedding ring in that respect. So to remove it just feels wrong. The chastity side is really now the same as my collar. I have been locked for 9 months now, but actually 10 months without any form of release, and if i am completely honest, i don’t think i could even try and give myself release because i would be disobeying my owner and it would upset him, and all i want is for him to be happy.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate reinforce the importance of trust and communication in consensual kink scenarios?
A: Prison kink is a giant roleplay, it isn’t real life unless you actually commit a crime, that being said, I do not think I would have attended if I hadn’t gone with my friends, simply because of the cost, distance and scale of the event, and not having that crutch underneath me to say “hey it’s ok, nothing is going to happen that you don’t want to happen” made all the difference, and then at the end when we were given a tour and shown how the whole event is run, that made me realise how much effort was put into making it a safe space to enjoy this kink. It is pretty much the philosophy of how my kink club is run. make every effort to create a safe space for kinksters to be able to be themselves in a safe accepting environment.
Q: Can you describe a specific incident where you had to “play the game” to get attention for bondage or roughing up? How did this incident shape your understanding of the power dynamics?
A: I remember a few days in, after observing what other inmates were doing to provoke the guards, we were ordered to stand by the red line, now the inmate opposite i know had a key hidden in his mustache, so instead of me trying to provoke the guard, i was trying to get the inmate to crack up, so whenever a guard walked past i would mouth and mime the hokey cokey and quickly put each body part over the red line, but i didn’t notice the guard stood above me on the 1st level. I was shouted at, screamed at theen grabbed by 2 guards, forced into a straight jacket and taken into my cell and my ankles were chained to my bed for 5 hours. I was left like this with my cell door open so other guards and inmates could see me. I can understand if I had tried to kidnap a guard in my cell, or even fought with another inmate, but that level of punishment and control for such a little infraction made me think about how much more power they had and they were willing to use it all.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate challenge your understanding of personal boundaries and consent?
A: By allowing myself to observe my surroundings and the guards’ interactions with other inmates, I was able to set my boundaries, this in turn allowed me to let go a little because I was comfortable knowing nothing bad was going to happen to me and consent was a big part of the guards’ process.
Q: What was the most impactful takeaway from your prison experience that you will carry with you in your future kink journeys?
A: Don’t ever think your kink is too niche, it’s as simple as that. My prison kink has been with me from day one and i always thought it was a small thing that not many people would do, how wrong was i!.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate affect your appreciation for the freedoms you take for granted in everyday life?
A: I don’t look as ever taking any freedoms for granted, any freedoms I have are given to me by my owner and they are respected and my owner is thanked everyday for them, but i do see for the average human how losing the ability to do things like check their mobile or go for a walk, or go to the pub would be hard as it is something you do without thinking about it half the time.
Q: Can you share any insights or realizations you had about yourself during this intense experience?
A: Having cell time allows you to think clearly without distraction, and something that i thought about was that i know i have a purpose with my owner, but i didn’t quite know what it was, i just knew that i had one. That’s when i realised that i wasn’t just owned, i wasn’t just doing as i am told because i want to, and my owner hadn’t taken control away from me. I have literally given him my soul and my purpose is simple, to exist for him and nobody else. It was a very emotional and cleansing experience to come to terms with.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate change your perspective on the importance of rules and consequences in a structured environment?
A: It didn’t, simply because that’s how I live my life for my owner, it just reinforced what I already knew.
Q: What was the most challenging aspect of the prison experience for you, and how did you overcome it?
A: At the beginning I put my back out when getting in the prison van, and was in quite a bit of pain, I tried to muddle through because I wanted to experience everything, but I couldn’t. I had pain killers with me in my clear bag but they were strong enough to knock me out so I avoided taking them. I eventually gave in to myself and spoke to a guard and explained, and from that point I will still feel like an inmate but at the same time they changed certain aspects in order to protect me and make sure I still enjoyed the event. This goes for any scene really, you should always communicate with the other person regardless of the impact it will have on the scene as your health and safety is paramount above all.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate reinforce the importance of self-reflection and personal growth in the kink scene?
A: As I mentioned earlier, cell time was thinking time and I would never have had the profound realisation about my purpose without it. Forced self reflection creates a space that forces you to question almost everything about yourself and allows you to heal, and from that comes growth not just mentally but in understanding things around you a lot clearer.
Q: Can you describe a moment when you felt a sense of accomplishment or pride during the prison experience?
A: Ha ha ha that’s easy, the first time I got to the front of the meal queue and recited my number correctly and had my water bottle full and passed the red line for the first time without failure. I fist pumped as I walked out.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate change your understanding of the role of a submissive in a power dynamic?
A: It deepens the understanding for sure, but looking at it from my point of view, I was curious enough to question myself and my role as a submissive and that’s why I now believe that for someone like me true submission is the only way to live my life.
Q: Can you share any advice for those who are considering exploring their submissive side through similar experiences?
A: Be yourself, and get out there and explore safely. You can only learn through experiences, and not all of them you will like, but as long as it doesn’t harm you at least you can turn around and say “at least i was brave enough to try it” It isn’t failure, it’s part of the journey.
Q: How did the experience of being an inmate change your perspective on the importance of safety and consent in the kink scene?
A: It didn’t, it just reinforced what I already knew from running the club, that a safe space where consent is priority should be paramount for any kink scene.
