History Repeats
My journey into submission started long before I understood the connection between dominance and sexuality. Even as a child, during history lessons about punishments, I felt a strange stirring. The idea of being chained in a dungeon or publicly disciplined in the town square sparked something within me. When teachers punished students, I’d fantasize about my own bottom being the one to turn red.
As I got older and began exploring my sexuality, the fantasy of being a slave or a punished schoolboy persisted. Later, I discovered the world of Mistresses and Masters, and the idea of serving someone became a powerful turn-on. One image that stuck with me was from a porn magazine: a shaved penis with clothespins clipped along the underside. The thought of experiencing that myself was incredibly arousing.
I’m bisexual, leaning towards gentleness with women. However, when it comes to dominance, it’s men, Masters, who truly excite me. I’ve been married for many years to a wife who isn’t interested in dominance play. While she’s okay with me wearing a chastity cage, it doesn’t provide the kind of release I crave. A few years ago, we experimented with rope play, and the feeling of being bound and losing control was incredibly intense. I was shaking with desire.
The idea of being secretly dominated by a man was thrilling. My first experience as a submissive was with an online Master. We agreed to keep it discreet, but he ultimately wasn’t willing to respect those boundaries, which led to our separation. However, the time we spent together was amazing. He had complete control over my orgasms. I filmed myself using clothespins, a whip, and a belt as punishment, both at home and at work. I had to send him three daily inspection photos: one naked, standing front-facing with legs spread and hands behind my neck, showing the chastity device; another from behind in the same position; and a third on my knees, head down, displaying my exposed rear. At work, due to a knee injury, I was allowed to bend over and present myself instead.
My work schedule is staggered, often at night, and the workload varies. This gave me opportunities to communicate with my Master. I’d be ordered to the bathroom to send him naked photos. One night, he instructed me to write on my chest and stomach with a marker: “This slave belongs to Master [Master’s Name].” The text had to be clearly visible in every photo, so I had to reapply it if it faded.
Unfortunately, the relationship ended because my Master didn’t prioritize my well-being. He wanted to jeopardize my relationship with my family.
I long to find a Master who will take control again, someone who cares about my well-being and is genuinely interested in how I’m doing. Someone who understands my lack of experience and is willing to guide me. Someone who respects my need for downtime with my family after intense sessions. Someone who wants to train me online long-term. I hope to find a Master who desires a submissive like me.
