Stand out from the crowd
A recent weekend challenge in the Executive Sir group chat was a review of boys social media profiles on the various apps, from Grindr to Recon and everything in between. From the review, a few themes emerged which have prompted me to write this article to help boys attract the Sir they need.
Know the audience within your app
Every app has its target audience, so adapt your profile accordingly. Recon is very kink-focused, so lead with your particular kink, while The Blowers is much more straightforwardly focused on oral satisfaction, so don’t put potential service opportunities off by leading with kink. Grindr is a cornucopia of profiles and interests, from kink to niche sexual preferences to those looking for romance and love. The key here is to be single-minded in what you are seeking to attract and draft your profile accordingly.
Know what you’re looking for
Many of the profiles I reviewed were confused about what they were looking for. If you’re looking for a romantic vanilla relationship, write a profile to attract that audience. If you’re looking to suck cock and be an on-call fag for Superior men, draft a profile to suit that audience. I can’t see any space where both agendas combine well in one profile.
Your profile is an advertisement. Have one ‘big idea’ you want to get across and be clear about that. Your headline is your first opportunity to communicate that idea. “Jeremy 28” tells me nothing other than your name and your age, whereas “Fag looking to suck 28” makes clear exactly what you are and what you are offering. Draft your profile to reflect this one ‘big idea’. It’s important to note that unless you can communicate your ‘big idea’ in your headline, then it’s too complex. ‘Fag looking to suck, into older men with cut cocks’ has way too much going on for a heading, so be clear about the one thing you’re offering. And remember, it’s all about what you offer that matters, not what you’re looking for.
It’s not about you
Once you’ve got your headline sorted, it’s time to write the content. If you’re reading this article, the chances are you’re a boy or a fag. Draft your profile accordingly. Sir is interested in what you can offer him, not what you want or are looking for. Sir will decide whether you’re for him or not by what you write, so be clear about all your positives, your experience, and your interest in serving him.
Profiles listing what you want might be fine in vanilla situations, but in a D/s context, you’re the sub, so focus on his needs. Phrases like, ‘I humbly offer my experience in XYZ’ or ‘my limits are open to be challenged, and I seek to please you exactly how you prefer’ indicate that a boy understands his role in the hierarchy.
A boy listing his limits, his needs, his desires puts off most Sirs, as again, it shows that you don’t really understand the truth of hierarchy. Think about your ideal Sir and what you can offer him, and start from there.
Be positive
Profiles laden with negative statements—no face pic, no chat, no older, no whatever—just make a Sir move on. You’re also alienating potential matches. It’s fine to have preferences, but do you need to communicate this right from the start?
Also, by placing demands such as these on your profile, Sirs like me clock that you’re clearly untrained, that you’re self-centered, and we question whether we really want to spend time training you and educating you on correct etiquette. Be open, be positive, and be humble.
A picture tells a thousand words
Choose your picture wisely, and make sure it represents the ‘big idea’ of your profile. A picture of you in a harness, clearly having been fucked by 10 people in a club, is a perfect image if you’re looking for a hardcore Master who will pimp you out. Such an image is less useful if you’re advertising yourself as an on-call suck boy.
Many Sirs and boys think hierarchy and the leather community are one and the same. They are not, so be conscious of this. If you want a suited Sir like me, consider a professional-type picture of you well-dressed or perhaps preppy. If you’re interested in man-next-door daddy types, then consider dressing in your street clothes in your profile. The straight Daddy looking for a boy on the side is likely to be intimidated by your harness picture and will swipe on by.
In a similar vein, if you’re super hot but open to a Sir average or larger, consider whether he will be intimidated by your looks. By all means, be proud of your beautiful body, but ensure your profile makes clear you offer service to all types of Sir.
Know the purpose of your profile
Your profile isn’t going to get you on your knees in front of Sir. That is not its purpose. Your profile’s only purpose is to help get a conversation started with Sir. From there, it’s up to you. Build a bond with him in conversation. Be interested before focusing on being interesting. Listen to what he says and be ready to offer how you can meet his needs. The conversation is where you get to show your respect, show your knowledge of hierarchy, and show your readiness to serve. The conversation is also when you get to share your preferences and limits. A worthy Sir will ask you this question, so no need to lead with it in your profile.
Don’t be worried about your age or inexperience
There is a Sir for every boy. If you’re inexperienced, say you’re inexperienced but eager to learn. There are many Sirs who prefer an inexperienced boy because they can train him exactly how they prefer. But if you’re inexperienced, don’t be flaky—it’s a huge turnoff for Sir.
Whatever your age, there’s a Sir into you. If you’re older, think about how you might serve Sir in different ways. You may not have the hot 20-year-old body anymore, but you have experience, maturity, and can serve in many other ways. You’ll likely have more money, so could become a cash fag. You might own a house, so can accommodate, or a car, so can offer chauffeur services. Think about what you have to offer beyond just sexual satisfaction and make that available to Sir.
If you are the hot twentysomething, don’t lead with that. You’re indistinguishable from the next hot twentysomething. Be different, be a better communicator, don’t flake, ask intelligent questions, ask for Sir’s guidance, whatever comes naturally. You don’t need to play a role; be yourself, but be respectful and know that being hot is not enough to secure a Sir alone.
Be proactive
Once your profile is sorted and you’re happy with your ‘ad’, don’t just sit back and wait to be approached. Be proactive and approach Sirs you think your skills may satisfy. A respectful message indicating your interest and availability for service will go a long way with him and help you stand out from the crowd. A simple ‘Hi’ will usually get ignored, but a respectful, ‘Hello Sir, I humbly present myself to you……’ will go much further in piquing his interest.
Karma is a bitch
Do not block or ghost any Sir you have a conversation with. Politely make your excuses and move on. Leave a positive tone and make him feel good about himself. What you put into the universe will be returned to you.
Similarly, if using Blowers or Fabguys, which offer a review option, always leave a positive review for your Sir. There will always be something positive to say.
Always remember, a Sir can only live his truth because a boy like you surrenders to him. Sir and boy are like Yin and Yang, each needing the other to be whole. Be confident in your truth, and you will find your Sir.
Example:
This profile was not bad at all, but a few tweaks make it much more appealing and Sir-centred.
Before:
Submissive boi for Doms & Daddies
Ideally looking for a dom/sub relationship but open to ownership in other forms too.
Keyholder vacancy very much needs filling
Very obedient, hungry pussyboy eager to please an Alpha, Master, Daddy type.
Experienced and flexible to a Sir’s needs – i am completely driven by handing over control to another man for their pleasure.
Sexual objectification and power exchange are key
After:
Submissive boy for Doms & Daddies
Available for a Dom/sub relationship. Also available for ownership in other forms.
Self-locked in preparation for a committed key holder.
Very obedient, hungry pussyboy eager to please my Alpha, Master, Daddy type.
Experienced and flexible to Sir’s needs—I am completely driven by handing over control to my superior for their pleasure.
Sexual objectification and power exchange.
